Vacuum god (short story)

It was rather early when I woke up. Of course, that was relative, as for all thing are, because late afternoon is considered late by most people.  Stupendous, most would add, if not all. I stood there, on my bare mattress, listening to the sounds of the city. Sirens, cars, honking away the drudgery of everyday life. Like that would work. Some kid was screaming his eyes out. I turned on the AC and everything just stopped. There was nothing but the hiss of the ventilators pumping cool air in my apartment. I can deal with heat of summer, but this humidity is killing my sinuses. I just brewed some coffee and took the elementary morning amphetamine, when I first noticed my little Roomba. He was under the desk, in my living room, cleaning some mess I made the night before, eating some chocolate chip cookies after I smoked my last pot stash. Seeing how my housekeeper quit last month and I am too lazy to do chores by myself, I mentally applauded my little vacuum robot and went on my daily business. Which was literally watching movies all day and taking notes. The evening came and passed like most days and years and night time found me on the same couch, with my feet on the same coffee table, drinking the same bland coffee and viewing one of the most boring movie in existence. I accidentally took three more amphetamine pills while day dreaming, so my brain was haywire; sleeping was far away to say the least. Except my TV, nothing was alive and glowing in the darkness, the whole room was a rabid fascination of bright colors, multiple shadows and darkness, orchestrated by the same hissing sound of the AC. The temperature was unbearable. It was my intention to get up and get some ice from the fridge, to suck on, when I accidentally stepped on the poor Roomba. I don’t think damaged him at all, but he kinda hissed and ran away under the desk. Thanks to my electronic skills, I somewhat upgraded him with a few improvements to make my life easier. First, I gave him a web camera to actually see where he was going, to not rely on that laser guidance system. Using an Arduino board, I programmed a small chip to be his nervous system, an easy program to identify his surroundings. Furthermore, I downloaded a plugin to mold his work with my behavior. He can remember where I eat mostly and visit those areas more frequently than others. I installed other stuff that I don’t remember, but I think those we’re useless. Or are they? He’s now sitting or waiting under the desk, somewhat observing me. If that’s even possible. Went and got my ice and sat down on the couch. I don’t think he moved while I was away, which is weird, he never stops in a place unless to recharge. Is he recharging? I can’t see. He’s kinda terrifying there, in darkness, that LED from the camera on, like a small red eye from some hellish creature. What does he see? Can he see me watching him? Could it be … scared? I didn’t mean to step on him, I just didn’t see him. Did I install that program to identify what kind of junk he was vacuuming? God, I hope not. I can’t even imagine what he would learn from that. All those chips, pizzas, beers. I bet he’s thinking he’s better than me, always consuming just raw, elemental power. Look at him, sitting there, in the darkness, judging me …


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